Carers
A Day in the Life of a Carer
In September 2025, we reached out to our mailing list to let us know what their experiences as a carer (both paid and unpaid) were like and what a day in their life as a carer looks like.
Please read the collection of responses received via the carers who got in touch with us (below the organisation contact details).
If you require any assistance or support in relation to your care, you can contact the organisations below:-
Universal Carers at Citizens Advice
Midmercia – 01332 228777
Email: [email protected]
New Independent Advocacy provider for Derby from 1st April 2025
Disability Direct Advocacy 01332 299449
Link: https://www.disabilitydirect.com/dd-advocacy/
Disability Direct, 20 Royal Scot Road, Pride Park, Derby, DE24 8AJ
Derby Blue Sky Brokers Services
12 Pride Point Drive Pride Park Derby DE24 8BX
Carers can apply for a Blue Sky Carers Card Identity Card (Costs £5 annually)
Contact -Derby 01332 404040
SEND -Special Educational Needs and Disabilities
SENDIASS Telephone 01332 641414
Email: [email protected]
Information for Derby Adults with Learning Disability or Difficulty
LD Voice Group information sharing at meetings in Derby.
Derby City Council
Contact: [email protected]
Also [email protected]
Dementia Carers (and Cared For Person) Café
Last Friday of every month
Contact Telephone 01332 593939
Venue : Derby Theatre Derbion Derby
Below interviews have been fully anonymised and initials changed.
With over 15 years of personal caregiving experience and a fresh start in professional support work, this dedicated carer feels well-trained, fully supported, and deeply passionate about making a real difference in vulnerable lives. Discover their typical day, career ambitions, and why they plan to stay in care long-term.
How long have you been a carer?
In my personal life 10 years supporting my father and 5 years supporting my son. I have done some volunteer work for 2 years as well.
I have worked for my company for 4 months.
Do you think you have had adequate training and how much training have you had?
I do feel I have had adequate training as the modules that needed to be completed before starting this job was very detailed. Then there was an induction course with a test at the end before confirming my position as a support worker. And then there is continuous training related to specific service users you are caring for which can be repeated on request if one is needing a refresher or extra support. Plus also the mandatory training that all support workers need to complete.
This ongoing training gives me the confidence to do my job properly and complying to set standards.
Do you have enough time to do your role?
Yes, definitely as we work on average 12-hour shifts with service users and have time to get to know the service users well Also we have regular contact with our service users.
What do you like about your job?
The service users’ needs are matched with the support worker.
Support is available while working.
There is always someone on call to get support and advice from in challenging situations.
What could be better?
At the moment I have not come across any unsolvable situation, so at this moment in time I am quite happy with the way things are.
Do you think you will continue working in care?
I think I work in care because I love making a difference in people’s lives. With the right support I feel that I will be able to help many people, so for this reason I will stay in care.
Do you think you see this as a career?
Yes, I have just been accepted for my NVQ LEVEL 3
So will want to keep progressing to higher levels.
A typical day looks like:
A typical day in my role as a support worker begins with a thorough handover to ensure continuity of care. I review the daily calendar for any scheduled appointments, activities, or key events. Throughout the day, I assist individuals with tasks they wish to engage in, encouraging autonomy and helping them make informed, sensible choices that align with their preferences and wellbeing. I also reinforce and support medical advice provided by healthcare professionals, promoting the best possible outcomes for each person I support.
I will make sure that are prompted to engage in activities if they are not motivated, but an activity is never forced.
I make sure their home is clean and tidy and meets health and safety standards. The service user is kept informed on what I am doing, gaining consent at each stage, so they don’t feel I am taking over their home. I ask them to get involved so they are engaging with to running of their home.
I encourage eating 3 meals and will prepare meals where required.
I ensure that the service user is given their own space and reassure them that I am ready to help them as required.
Then handover back to next support worker on shift.
This experienced carer, with nearly three years across two care companies, finds the role deeply rewarding—bringing comfort, dignity, laughter, and genuine gratitude to often-isolated clients who eagerly await visits. Yet challenges like rushed schedules, insufficient travel time between calls, and split shifts make consistent, compassionate care frustrating and personally demanding, leading them to view it as not a permanent career. Read their honest reflections on the highs, heartaches, and realities of frontline caring.
I’ve been a carer for just under three years, working for two care companies.
I received more intensive training in my first position which was taken into account when I moved to another company, although I did have to complete a 45-question paper online. In both companies I was introduced, over a week, under supervision, to the clients and their individual needs.
The job of caring is both satisfactory and frustrating: wonderful to know that I have helped someone to be comfortable and for them to understand that they are deserving of care and consideration – and frustrating when calls are scheduled with not enough time between visits to allow for travelling between them. As much as we want, and need, to see people at their desired times for breakfast, lunch, tea or bedtime, it is not always possible, especially when, sometimes, a client may need that extra little attention. For the housebound, we are often the only visitors they have and our calls are so looked forward to.
The job provides satisfaction in helping those in need; their gratitude and joy are very humbling. There is laughter and happiness mixed with sadness.
For carers, working alone or as a pair, organising schedules cannot be easy, but it is difficult to provide the care needed when there is not enough travelling time between visits, especially if a carer does not have some form of transport. Days can be so disjointed when it consists of many morning visits – three-hour gap (split shift) – and then many late bedtime visits. Without personal transport on those days it is almost impossible to organise personal tasks.
I don’t know how long I will stay in the caring system, but not permanently.
DM has been caring for her husband G since his 2015 astrocytoma brain tumour diagnosis, managing his post-surgery seizures, memory loss, mobility/speech issues, and daily needs (meds, meals, appointments) while receiving Carer’s Allowance. She battles her own chronic conditions making caring for G extremely challenging. A distressing switch to another GP surgery in Derby saw her painkillers refused and G’s meds wrongly changed, worsening both their conditions and leaving her feeling dismissed; they returned to their previous GP for proper care. DM is now pursuing a formal complaint. Her story powerfully shows the heavy toll of family caring amid personal health struggles and the need for better support from healthcare providers.
My name is DM and I am a carer for my husband, G. He is recovering from a brain tumour.
I have been a carer since April 2015, when G was diagnosed with an Astrocytoma. He had an operation to remove the tumour in the May of 2015 and further operations later in the year and in 2016 to have a shunt fitted in his brain to drain fluid. He had a further operation in 2020 to check the shunt was working. I am registered with my GP as a carer. I also get carers allowance for taking care of him.
G has been left with multiple health issues since having the tumour removed. He has frequent seizures of varying degrees, from absences to tonic clonic seizures. He also has no short-term memory, mobility and speech issues as well as a lack of understanding of simple instructions. I have to remind him to take his daily meds, prepare and cook his meals, take him to appointments and deal with health professionals. In 2020, I contracted Covid, a few months later I was diagnosed with Long Covid. In the following months I was also diagnosed with M.E and Congestive Lung disorder. I already had Fibromyalgia and five prolapsed discs, so caring for my husband has been and still is very challenging. It has become more difficult since getting M.E and Long Covid. I struggle with chronic pain and fatigue every day. Last year, I had a knee replacement which unfortunately didn’t work, leaving me in more pain.
I have struggled with chronic pain for many years. I have seen many people and the pain management clinic and had lots of procedures. I take pain killers on a daily basis. Earlier this year, I changed Drs surgeries because I felt that I wasn’t being listened to. But the surgery we changed to only made matters worse. They refused to give me the pain killers I needed, leaving me unable to care for my husband. I couldn’t cook him any food or even make a sandwich because I couldn’t stand long enough due to the pain. The surgery also took G off his pain meds and tripled another medication. This left him with increased pain in his head and increased seizures. When I tried to explain this to the Dr, I was told to get in carers for my husband. All I needed was the pain killers to enable me to look after my husband. I have never felt so unsupported in my life. I was left feeling that I was no good to my husband. The Dr just didn’t listen to my needs as a carer. We left the surgery for our own safety. We went back to our previous surgery, where I was put back on my correct pain killers, my husband was also put back on his and his other meds put back to what they were originally. I am now able to take care of my husband, without the need for other carers to be present. I am in the process of making a formal complaint about the practice. I have tried to email the practice manager and call them, but I have had no response. When I asked to speak to the manager, I was refused. We have since left this surgery.
FT has gradually become a full-time unpaid carer for his wife over 8 years, intensifying in the last 4 years as her needs grew. His account captures the quiet, draining reality of long-term spousal caring with minimal external support.
How long you have been a carer?
I’m not able to give a proper answer as my wife has been steadily getting in need of more care over the last 8 or so years. It is probably over the last 4 years that I have had to devote much more time and effort to her care and welfare.
Who are you a carer for?
My wife
Are you registered as a carer with your GP?
I think so – not absolutely certain.
Are you aware that you might be eligible for Carer’s Allowance?
I suspect that our joint pensions takes us over the threshold. Perhaps I should enquire!
Do you feel that caring for somebody else impacts on your own health?
Yes. I am aware of being very tired and run-down on many occasions.
Are you aware of the support available to carers? If so, do you access any of it?
I have recently become aware of some support groups. I have not really accessed any of it.
Do you have peer support from other carers, either individually or in a group setting?
No
A few paragraphs of what a typical day looks like.
Breakfast myself after usual bathroom ablutions. Dress my wife and prepare breakfast for her. Deal with some incontinence issues, sometimes serious but fortunately not to often. Prepare a light lunch for myself and then repeat an hour or so later for my wife. General housekeeping, washing, ironing etc. Prepare evening meal for both of us. Relax with TV. Later prepare for bedtime, undress etc. and get her into bed. Go to bed myself.
SI, aged 70, has been an unpaid carer for 35 years, supporting five close relatives—now only her sister-in-law with profound learning disabilities (whose social skills often hide her condition). Recently, a Healthwatch team member informed her about carers’ rights, including accompanying relatives to hospital appointments—a change she finds hugely relieving and positive. The role has profoundly affected her and her family’s lives. The below reflects decades of dedication and appreciation for recent carer support improvements.
My name is SI and I have been an unpaid carer for 35 years. I am now 70 years old.
Last week I met a member of the Healthwatch Engagement team, she was most helpful and I am very pleased that the NHS is now taking carers seriously and supporting us.
I was especially pleased when Nasreen told me that carers now have rights. I have the right to be with my relative when she has hospital appointments, this is such a relief and positive change
My relative has profound learning disabilities but is very good at social chit chat which masks her disability.
Over the thirty-five years I have cared for five close relatives, now only my sister-in-law is left.
The caring role has massively impacted my and my family’s lives.
Polio survivor with Post-Polio Syndrome now cares for husband with treated cancers, vascular dementia, Alzheimer’s, and uncontrolled type 2 diabetes. She manages appointments, meds, blood sugars, and physical support for his severe unsteadiness/spatial issues, complicated by her own mobility limits and patchy NHS care (e.g., delayed insulin). Day’s focus on keeping him active; nights bring worry about their future if her health fails.
It’s difficult to know where to start. I never imagined I would be a carer in the circumstances my husband and I now find ourselves.
My husband has always been a great help (and carer) for me as a Polio survivor and what is now called Post Polio Syndrome. However, this began to change when my husband was diagnosed with cancer of the spleen and Lymphoma. This was dealt with before he had Prostate cancer. At the same time, he was diagnosed with Vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. He also has, out of control, type 2 diabetes. This appears to be due to some of the treatment for Prostate cancer which included hormone treatment. The health service support has been intermittent. Apparently, he should have been on insulin since June, but somewhere along the line they didn’t tell us or get us an appointment to sort it out. This is now happening on the 25th of this month.
I now spend much of my time driving to various appointments, keeping blood sugar level records, sorting medication etc. None of this is too much of a problem. The biggest problem at the moment is how unsteady my husband has now become. He seems to have lost his sense of space perception. For example, when going to sit in a chair, he turns round to sit and then can’t find the chair. I have to place his hands on the arms of the chair so he can lower himself. I tried buying a chair where the legs are raised, but he can’t fathom how to use it. You can imagine, the physical side of this for me is difficult with my own physical difficulties.
A typical day is my husband spending a lot of time asleep unless I can keep him active, but after a fall this is difficult. A typical end of the day is my husband having a good night’s sleep, and me lying awake wondering how we are going to manage, or, what happens to my husband if something happens to me?
We enjoy life and we enjoy being together. In fact, we wouldn’t have it any other way. That will never change. But it distresses my husband that he feels such a nuisance – which he’s not. I’m just trying to figure out the practicalities of life now and in the future.
JI has been a devoted carer for her husband C for 37 years—since a mugging left him paraplegic. Now 70, C battles severe rheumatoid arthritis, COPD, asthma, fibromyalgia, ischaemic heart disease, and PTSD (diagnosed after a devastating 2019 breakdown). Married 47 years, JI handles every intimate need—showering, dressing, cooking, cleaning, medications, and every appointment never qualifying for Carer’s Allowance. She juggled full-time work, raising two sons (now in their 40s), and supporting her stroke-paralysed mother, all while ensuring C could work in retail for a time. After early retirement and a move to an adapted bungalow, she attends a carers’ group when she can.
I am JI and I have been a carer for my husband C for the last 37 years since he was mugged and left paraplegic. Since then, he has developed severe rheumatotid arthritis, has COPD and asthma, fibromyalgia, ischaemic heart disease and suffers from PTSD.
I am registered as a carer with a practice, and I attend the a carers group on a Wednesday afternoon when I am able to.
Our sons were still quite young when this happened to him, they are now in their forties, and I had to go back to work part time to keep our heads above water financially as well as caring fulltime for them, C and keeping an eye on my Mum who had had a stroke at the age of 47 which had left her paralysed down one side and unfortunately my Dad had died of cancer 5 years later, leaving her on her own.
C did manage to get a job with Sainsburys working on the tills where we are originally from, and I went to work full time for the Home Office. It meant a long day for both of us, getting up early for me to get us both ready for work and ensuring that he had flasks of tea and coffee at home as he finished before I did.
C is unable to shower completely unaided or to dry himself or dress/undress unaided. I do all of the cooking, cleaning, washing – all for love as I have never been entitled to carers allowance as we have always supported ourselves. C is now 70 and of course receives his state pension and gets full PIP. I deal with all his medication and go with him to all his doctor and hospital appointments.
Unfortunately, in 2019, C had a complete breakdown after an incident at work in Sainsburys, where we there then living after I had been posted to an airport approx. 20 years earlier working as a Border Force Officer, which was when he was finally diagnosed with PTSD. After struggling with trying to carry on working as well as looking after C, I decided to take my work pension at the age of 60 and at the end of 2019 we moved to Derby to be nearer our sons, one lives near Leicester and one in Bolton.
We recently moved into an adapted bungalow in the war memorial village, Bob served in both the Royal Marines and the Grenadier Guards, which is much easier for us than where we were living.
I have fibromyalgia in my shoulders and osteoarthritis in my hands. I also have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and trigeminal neuralgia.
We have been married for 47 years, 37 of which C has been disabled but he is still first and foremost my husband and my best friend.
The unpaid carer has supported their mother (primarily) and recently a friend for nearly 3 years. They are registered as a carer with their GP. They do not qualify for Carer’s Allowance. Caring impacts their health negatively. They access limited support mainly via the Carents network (UK community for carers of ageing parents/relatives, providing advice, events, and peer connections) and online searches: LPA session, carer cards online session, joint day out, and exercise session with the cared-for person. Peer support is available through Carents (individual and group). A typical day centres on practical care. Friend-caring increases demands; sister provides support but works full-time.
How long you have been a carer.
Almost 3 years.
Who are you a carer for?
Mother and friend.
Are you registered as a carer with your GP?
Yes.
Are you aware that you might be eligible for Carer’s Allowance?
I do not meet the eligibility criteria.
Do you feel that caring for somebody else impacts on your own health?
Yes.
Are you aware of the support available to carers? If so, do you access any of it?
I am aware of some of the support available to carers and this has mainly been via the Carents network that I joined and internet searches. I have accessed some of the support: I attended a session about LPA, joined an online session about carers cards, attended a day out with my cared for, attended an exercise session with my cared for.
Do you have peer support from other carers, either individually or in a group
setting?
Yes, via the Carents network.
A few paragraphs of what a typical day looks like.
My day largely revolves around meeting the care needs of the person I support. This includes day-to-day tasks such as assisting or supervising with washing, dressing, taking medication, preparing food, and encouraging exercise. I also provide companionship, motivation, and emotional support.
On days when I have additional help, we try to arrange activities outside the home. These outings and social activities provide a change of scenery and help maintain good mental health.
More recently, I have also taken on some caring responsibilities for a friend, which has added to the challenges of my current role. I am fortunate to have the support of my sister however, she works full-time, and I am due to start back at work for a few hours each week. As a result, finding time for us is very difficult.
Navigating the healthcare system can also be extremely time-consuming and frustrating, as it often feels disjointed. We are frequently left having to “join the dots” between different healthcare professionals, chasing information and guidance ourselves, or hearing about important matters by chance in conversation with others. While we are relatively fortunate to have some understanding of how the system works, and know who to contact or follow up with, it remains a demanding and often exhausting process.
KT cared for her husband L for several years until his death in June. She helped with dressing, getting in/out of bed, preparing meals (he couldn’t stand long), and ensuring his needs were met. She was registered as a carer at her GP. She is deeply frustrated that Carer’s Allowance stops when State Pension begins due to overlapping benefits rules—no full payment of both. Many carers share this view and call for change.
I was an unpaid carer till L (husband) died in June. I’m disgusted that the Carers Allowance must be taken away when you get your State Pension. I was looking after him for several years.
I helped to dress him although he could still do top half himself. He couldn’t stand for long, so could not get meals.
I would make sure he had everything he wanted.
I was registered at Surgery as a Carer
I would have to help him in and out of bed.
Cared for wife TN for 26 years (full-time last 7 years). Registered with Derby City Council (not sure about GP). Receives no financial support and unaware of Carer’s Allowance eligibility. Minimal health impact due to staying fit. Accesses Derby City Council peer support group (as needed). Engages with local peer support.
How long you have been a carer?
For 26 years but more full time in the last 7 years)
Who are you a carer for?
Wife TN
Are you registered as a carer with your GP?
Not sure…. only with Derby City Council
Are you aware that you might be eligible for Carer’s Allowance?
(No…receive no financial help)
Do you feel that caring for somebody else impacts on your own health?
Not too much as I keep fit and reasonably healthy
Are you aware of the support available to carers? If so, do you access any of it?
Only the DCC Peer support group
Do you have peer support from other carers, either individually or in a group
setting?
Yes, if I need it
I prepare all meals, all car driving, house cleaning.
NG (79) has been full-time carer for her husband since 2001 (age 55); previously cared for her mother, mother-in-law, and father-in-law. Early council personal budget funded agency help, but unaffordable contributions ended it last year—no breaks since. No support for Motability advanced payments (wheelchair-accessible car); one grant received previously. Carer’s Allowance stopped in 2006 when State Pension started (overlapping rule). Poor health (arthritis worsened by caring); no time/energy for support groups. Family helps during her hospital stays. Long-term dedication shows isolation and strain.
An average day in my life as an unpaid carer:-
I was an unpaid carer for my mother several years ago and for my mother-in-law and father-in-law towards the end of their lives.
I became a full-time unpaid carer for my husband in 2001 when I was 55 years old. Initially after about two years my husband had a personal budget which we used to purchase help from an agency. This was paid at a daily rate because the amount of hours required varied to a large extent but basically it meant that he was able to attend a Tuesday group with the help of the paid carer and this gave me a “day off” when I could catch up with washing, housework, appointments etc. He also had a paid carer to take him to his voluntary work twice a week and I would fetch him from this.
Unfortunately, because of various changes in the way the Council worked out income levels the personal contribution to this rose to a figure which we could no longer afford, and we had to stop the personal budget last year and I now care for him without any breaks. No allowance was made for the fact that we have to save up for the advanced payment on the Motability car or to purchase new powered wheelchair. Because of the need to transport the powered wheelchair we need a car which is bigger and therefore more of an advanced payment is required. We were lucky when we had to renew the last time and Motability awarded us a grant for this, but this is something which we cannot rely on.
I assist him with dressing, he cannot put shirts on or coats when required. He, at the moment, can wash and shower himself because the bathroom has had a range of adaptations made to it. I do all the cooking because he is unable to stand or hold a saucepan safely and I do all the washing as well. Of course I have to do all the cleaning throughout our flat.
I have to deal with all paperwork because he cannot cope with this and now that most things are done on-line, I have to deal with this as well as he cannot use a computer. He is able to make telephone calls from his mobile but that is about the extent he can use this. He uses a C-PAP machine overnight and I have to make sure this is securely in place for him. He can sit up in bed with the aid of a bed-lever but without this he would need help to sit up.
I am registered with my GP as a carer but really cannot see what difference this makes! Although I, initially, received carers allowance this ceased as soon as I turned 60 and my state pension became payable in 2006. I am now 79 and my health is not very good, but whether this is because of age or caring I am not sure, but I do believe that my arthritis is made worse because of my caring role.
I am aware of the carers support there is available but find that I do not have the time or energy to take advantage of it. I do make a point of seeing my family as much as possible, but they have their own lives to live. Having said this, on the occasions I have been ill and admitted to hospital they have stepped in between them to take care of my husband.
I hope this gives you sufficient information but please do not hesitate to contact me if you require clarification on more information of any points.
TH (32) has been an unpaid carer since age 25 for his mum, who has Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). He and his aunt live with her to provide care outside limited allocated hours. Mum struggles to accept help.. TH is GP-registered as a carer; aunt isn’t. Neither qualifies for Carer’s Allowance due to full-time earnings exceeding the threshold Even if eligible, they’d prefer funds redirected to more paid care hours for mum—life-changing for the family. Caring impacts TH’s wellbeing significantly.. He feels judged/shamed despite doing nothing wrong. Family mental health affected overall. Aware of carer support/groups but doesn’t access—prefers practical help.
My mum forwarded this on — happy for it not to be anonymous if that adds any weight at all, and I really appreciate all the work you do.
I run my own Instagram account and sometimes talk about my experience as a carer there. I’m very comfortable on camera, so if that’s ever useful for campaigns or if you know anyone who might benefit from it, please shout — I just want more people to understand what life is like for carers and the people they care for.
I’m 32 and have been a carer since I was 25. It’s unpaid — although we do receive some government support, the hours have been drastically reduced over time. It’s a constant battle: triggering, admin-heavy, time-consuming and emotionally exhausting for my mum and our entire family. People who receive care often struggle to accept they need help. They fear being a burden, and rejection from the state is crushing. Especially when, like my mum, they’ve worked for decades, would love nothing more than to be well enough to work, and are desperate to contribute to society.
My mum has Functional Neurological Disorder. Me and my auntie live with her so we can care for her outside of her allocated care hours — on top of our full-time jobs.
I’m registered as a carer with the GP, my auntie isn’t. Neither of us qualifies for Carer’s Allowance because we work full time. But to be honest, even if we did, we’d just want that money to go toward more hours of care for my mum. That would be life-changing for all of us.
Caring for my mum definitely impacts my own health — more so my wellbeing. I adore her, but it can be a lot mentally. The appointments. The daily challenges. The admin. The physical support. Her condition is incredibly unpredictable, which is one of the most frustrating things. She can have a “good” day — move around, do basic tasks — but stress or overexertion can trigger an episode. Within hours, she might be in severe pain, having muscle contractions akin to seizures, needing two people to help her walk to the toilet, either with a stick or a wheelchair.
It’s had a huge impact on all our mental health. Bad experiences with doctors have left me with extreme anxiety. So have worries about further cuts, lack of compassion, and the endless battles with social services. Having to advocate for someone you love is exhausting. You feel judged and shamed — when you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.
I’m vaguely aware of support for carers — I think there are groups? But respectfully, I don’t want to go and sit with people who are also struggling and hear about their struggles. Ours are already hard enough. What I want is more hours of care. Or funding to get them. I want accessible, local, safe groups for people like my mum to attend — spaces that understand both mental and physical health and are properly equipped to support them.
That would have a huge impact on her quality of life. And therefore, mine.
I don’t have peer support from other carers beyond my auntie — and honestly, I don’t feel I need it. What I need is less judgement and discrimination from the people who are supposed to help. Not all of them are bad, and I get that these are difficult situations, but we — and many families like us — need real, practical support.
There’s no such thing as a typical day in our house. My mum’s condition makes everything unpredictable. It could mean training new carers, helping them manage when she’s having an episode. It’s doing all the weekend care calls ourselves due to budget cuts. It’s hot water bottles. Making meals because she’s got limited energy and bending to pick up a pan can cause a spasm. It’s going to doctors’ appointments. Setting up for bed. Creaming her feet because she has diabetes and struggles to bend. Knowing which medication is safe during a flare-up. Holding her hand if she’s crying — from the pain or from the weight of what she has to endure.
It’s explaining her condition to delivery drivers so they understand why she can’t lift boxes. It’s asking them to please bring them inside. It’s fielding difficult phone calls. It’s all of this and so much more.
My mum has been the best mum in the world to me. I chose to care for her happily — but it’s an awful system to navigate, for all of us. And the slightest increase in support, compassion, financial aid, or just general awareness would make a huge impact.
Me and my auntie both have (reasonably) successful careers. Even small things like better employer support — whether that’s more flexibility, paid carers’ leave (maybe subsidised by the government), or even just acknowledgement — would help massively. We both contribute to the economy of this country. With better support, we — and so many like us — could continue doing what we do without the constant risk of burnout. And to be honest, we’re both on the brink of it.
This individual has 10 years personal unpaid caring experience (supporting father) and 5 years supporting their son. They have also done 2 years volunteer work in care and worked as a paid support worker at SENAD Community for 4 months. They plan to stay in care long-term: passionate about making a difference, supported by the right structures, and committed to progressing (recently accepted for NVQ Level 3, aiming higher). They view care as a career. Overall, they express high satisfaction with their paid role, strong personal commitment to care, and a clear career path forward.
How long have you been a carer?
In my personal life 10 years supporting my father and 5 years supporting my son. I have done some volunteer work for 2 years as well.
I have worked for SENAD Community for 4 months
So they think they have had adequate training or how much training have they had?
I do feel I have had adequate training as the modules that needed to be completed before starting this job was very detailed. Then there was an induction course with a test at the end before confirming my position as a support worker. And then there is continuous training related to specific service users you are caring for which can be repeated on request if one is needing a refresher or extra support. Plus, also the mandatory training that all support workers need to complete.
This ongoing training gives me the confidence to do my job properly and complying to set standards.
Do they have enough time to do their role
Yes, as we work on average 12-hour shifts with service users and have time to get to know the service users well Also we have regular contact with our service users.
What’s good, what do they like?
The service users’ needs are matched with the support worker.
Support is available while working.
There is always someone on call to get support and advice from in challenging situations.
What could be better?
At the moment I have not come across any unsolvable situation, so at this moment in time I am quite happy with the way things are.
Do they think they will stay in care?
Definitely, I think I work in care because I love making a difference in people’s lives. With the right support I feel that I will be able to help many people, so for this reason I will stay in care.
Do they think they see this as a career?
Yes, I have just been accepted for my NVQ LEVEL 3
So will want to keep progressing to higher levels.
A few paragraphs on what a typical day looks like:
A typical day in my role as a support worker begins with a thorough handover to ensure continuity of care. I review the daily calendar for any scheduled appointments, activities, or key events. Throughout the day, I assist individuals with tasks they wish to engage in, encouraging autonomy and helping them make informed, sensible choices that align with their preferences and wellbeing. I also reinforce and support medical advice provided by healthcare professionals, promoting the best possible outcomes for each person I support.
I will make sure that are prompted to engage in activities if they are not motivated, but an activity is never forced.
I make sure their home is clean and tidy and meets health and safety standards. The service user is kept informed on what I am doing, gaining consent at each stage, so they don’t feel I am taking over their home. I ask them to get involved so they are engaging with to running of their home.
I encourage eating 3 meals and will prepare meals where required.
I ensure that the service user is given their own space and reassure them that I am ready to help them as required.
Then handover back to next support worker on shift.
This carer has worked in domiciliary care for 12 years and generally enjoys the role, feeling appreciated by most service users, though some can be challenging. Visits vary widely due to individual needs: single- or two-carer calls (e.g., for moving/handling); travel by car (sometimes cycling/walking; occasionally lifts colleagues).
All our service users have different care needs and expectations and on each be quite different from any of the other visits.
I have worked in domiciliary care for 12yrs, and I like the work most of the time. I generally feel very appreciated by my service users. But sometimes they can be hard work. I use my car to travel from call to call but some carers either cycle or walk between calls, I sometimes give another carer a lift in my car. I either attend our service users on my own or as a two-carer call. This would be when moving and handling is needed.
Some of our service users have no relatives living close by and do not have any friends that visit anymore so their carers are the only people they see on a regular basis. I try to spend a little time chatting with them and engage in other activities, for instance one of my service users likes to play draughts, when time allows, but this is becoming less and less. As it depends on how long the call is for, what we need to do and how far I have to travel between calls.
If on early shift my first call is at 6.00am. On arriving and leaving at all calls, we book in and out using the phone supplied to us by our company, so our office team can see the call has been attended to. We write in the care diary the care, which outlines what we need to do, that it has taken place and complete medication charts where necessary.
Most of the calls seem to be 30 minutes and some 45 minutes and the travel time in between can vary from a couple of minutes up to 15 minutes but average out to around 10 minutes.
The types of calls can be very different such as a single carer call. The man is unable to walk without assistance. He lives with his wife, but she has some mobility and capacity issues of her own and cannot support him on her own. I assist getting him out of bed (some beds are in the bedroom upstairs, some downstairs, sometimes it’s in the lounge. I assist him onto the commode, and I help them have a wash and dry and get dressed. I encourage him and support him to walk to his chair using his frame. Once he is seated, I get breakfast, and I prepare medication which he has every day. I make the bed, put the TV on to their favourite channel, usually the news. I empty and clean his commode, and we chat a little. I complete the care diary and leave, reminding him that I will be back later that day.
Some calls the service user can have more needs such as they have dementia and can become confused, some may have more mobility issues and are bed bound, some are incontinent. As a carer we have to assist with full body washes for both men and women. Ensure they are comfortable, dressed in clean clothing. Some we talk, sing, tell jokes, listen to jokes and stories of the past. Some service users can be a little near the mark but usually do not mean anything bad when they are talking. Sometimes we need two people to help. Sometimes we can find someone on the floor as they have fallen, and we have to wait for emergency services and contact a supervisor to cover calls outstanding. Sometimes we even find someone who has died which is heart-breaking.
Depending on time of call, we may be doing breakfast, lunch, dinner, always giving them a choice or just helping them make their own. Some days we may be helping them shop by helping them plan their food for the week and placing the order. We may be getting them up, checking on them, putting them to bed.
The day is long and on a normal day I finish after my 12-hour shift but there are the emergencies which can make it even longer.
I like my job but sometimes on some calls think I could do with more time to do everything I need to do or spend longer talking with those who are on their own or are frail. Also due to traffic and road works I could do with more travelling time. I also have seen a lot of people start in care and leave quickly as it is not for them. I think the firm I work for are caring and try to train us properly, provide a route for those to become supervisors’ managers if they want to. I also think the shifts should be shorter and the wages should reflect and recognise the importance of our jobs.
It’s now 17.23 and I have now completed my day’s work. I set off to drive home having completed 19 calls and 115 minutes traveling time between them all.
I’m now hungry and ready for my own tea. I will have a shower and settle down to watch Coronation Street on television before heading to bed, ready for another early start with tomorrows shift.
Adult children (aged 62 and 60, both working full-time) and granddaughter (40, with mobility/health issues) became unpaid carers for their parents/grandparents (now 90 and 80) after COVID-19 in 2020. The parents, previously active, self-sufficient, and socially engaged (walks, gardening, housework, cooking, driving until 80), became sedentary during lockdowns, leading to rapid decline. Post-COVID they have faced many challenges. Lost confidence/mobility; dad knocked down by cyclist (unhurt physically but withdrew from outings).
My parents are 90 and 80, they both worked all their lives, My father in engineering in a very loud , oily atmosphere until he retired at 65 and my mother was a care assistant for a mental health hospital, who had to take early retirement on medical grounds after being injured at work in her late 50’s. She also has Osteo arthritis, but they were both very active with a good social life, liked to take walks and were active in the Garden. My mother who was a smoker had a bad heart attack 12 years ago, however, she stopped smoking had some stents fitted, she was also diagnosed with COPD. She did what she was told and subsequently was able to return to her active lifestyle quite quickly, though she did have to use an inhaler daily. They were both self-sufficient as far as housework, cleaning, cooking, shopping my dad even drove until he was 80 when he decided to give it up, only due to car issues and not wanting to buy another.
When Covid happened in 2020 they were both classed as vulnerable and obviously they stayed at home, they did not go out for walks, due to fear of catching it, they both became sedentary and just sat, watched TV, ate food. We stayed in touch as a family mainly by phone and we dropped food off and saw them through window, they are not IT savvy and even though they tried neither could grasp the concept.
This was the norm for two years and they never got back to their former selves. Soon after covid one of their first shopping trips a cyclist knocked my dad over and to the floor – and never stopped shouting obscenities at my father for being old and in the way. He was not hurt, physically, lucky enough. But he has never gone out apart to hospital again. He lost his confidence and just sat at home watching TV doing nothing. My Mother’s health had started to deteriorate, and she stopped going shopping or going out. She had a stroke and has been house bound since. Her speech started to go, and she was diagnosed with early onset dementia. Her Arthritis has become severe, and her breathing is poor. They needed help but would not ask for it.
Since 2022 my sister, who works full time but lives an hour away, my daughter who lives 30 mins away but has her own mobility issues and I who also works full time and lives 45 mins away ensured we had one of us there every day for a couple of hours at least. Helping mainly with feeding, shopping, housekeeping starting off with. My parents who were becoming frailer still would not have paid carers to help. The level of care has led to me cutting dads hair, shaving him, showering him, making beds, laundry, making tea, preparing lunch. The demands have taken toll on us all as a family, my sister and I are both not young I am 62 she is 60, we both have our own health issues on top of work. My daughter is 40 she has mobility and some health issues of their own we have partners, but they are in the same condition.
My mother can hardly talk now and it’s difficult to understand her, which is frustrating for her. My father can hardly walk, his bp is high has been diagnosed with diabetes and recently had a fall, which led to him being in hospital and being diagnosed with heart failure. He has stabilised and is home, but this highlighted a need for more care. It was difficult to ensure someone could help mum whilst dad was in hospital, and someone visit dad and try and make sense of what was going on. Hospitals are poor at communicating what’s happening, what they are doing, what the prognosis is, time scales. They also say one thing and then change it.
We have now sorted a care package which is 4 visits a day, its early days and teething issues ae there. We are still supporting the care.
The thing that stands out, we were unprepared and ill equipped to become carers for my parents. We never started out to be carers, it just evolved. We were helping, making sure they were ok, then it became more and more. We had no advice, we did not know who to approach for advice or help. Talking to NHS staff and GP staff can be a nightmare, having to prove who you are, they do not talk to each other so have to explain issues repeatedly. Appointments cancelled, pharmacy deliveries wrong, incomplete, missed. When you can talk to them, it’s difficult if you work full time to find a time to talk to GP’S, Hospitals, social workers, pharmacy etc. Then there is the capacity issue, my parents needed help 2 years ago. The care we were providing was limited and it was already stretching us, causing issues to our health and wellbeing and family life. But my parents who still are independent and think they are more capable than they are refused help when we managed to get someone out to assess them. On a few occasions they were assessed, and a package of care was offered and turned down. They had capacity to say no. if we did not keep going day in day out, who knows what would have happened?
I love my parents; their quality of life has deteriorated quickly since covid, and the level of deterioration seems to be gaining pace. We became carers because of that love. The worse people become the level of support required grows and there does not seem to be widespread information available for families like ours, or maybe we were just misinformed. Carers need more support from professionals; they also have their own lives to live and are not full-time carers in many instances. Early advice and support in explaining what was going to happen to us and to my parents 5 years ago would have helped when they were fully aware. Waiting until they virtually have no capacity and are easily confused before explaining why they should allow strangers to come into their home and help seems to be wrong.
They are both going into full time residential care now, we no longer can look after them at home. Maybe if we had found support earlier, we could have helped them stay at home longer?